So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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