Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
