then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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