I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Randomize
