It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize
