Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
