I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Randomize
