I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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