I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I just want to make out with him forever
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Randomize
