I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
