omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
