Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
