Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Randomize
