college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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