My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Randomize
