it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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