I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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