Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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