hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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