guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Randomize
