my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
