i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
