look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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