i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
