i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
