I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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