Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize
