my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
