am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize
