I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
