opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
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I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize