2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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