yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
She said her name was "party"
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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