This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
