Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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