Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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