I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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