This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
well you can't waste a boner
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I need to calm my uterus...
Just puked most of my soul out..
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
