sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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