dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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