While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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