God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
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