margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
