all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
