sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
