What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
