i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
