i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Randomize
