does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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