Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
