Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
They took my balls.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
