I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
