Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I'm both gender and math confused
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
