What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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