I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
