I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I AM VODKA MAN
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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